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In a perfect world, an employee’s relationship with his or her supervisor would be an affable yet respectful one based on trust, communication and a sense of working toward a common goal. But don’t get too comfortable. Friendly workplace repartee is fine and all, but as a rule of thumb you should always think before you speak in the presence of an authority figure so as to not regret keeping your tongue leashed in your mouth.
1. Did you hear that hot gossip about Andy in IT? Scandalous, am I right?
Unless the bossman or lady also happens to be a close BFF that you’ve known for years, water cooler hearsay, particularly when it involves co-workers, should remain right there — at the water cooler. Interoffice chatter can be damaging enough, and when you involve a higher-up, it has the potential to get really messy.
2. Can we talk about that gift subscription to the Jelly of the Month Club?
Avoid discussing holiday bonuses — or a lack thereof — with your boss. It’s bad form. A bonus is a bonus, and you should thank him or her whether you’re the recipient of a generous check or a year’s supply of canned preserves. If you’re upset about a holiday bonus that’s underwhelming or nonexistent, remember Clark Griswold and don’t go complaining to your off-kilter cousin Eddie.
3. I’m busy. Ask Rita to do it.
Four things that should never come out of one’s mouth in the presence of an employer: “I can’t,” “I won’t,” “that’s impossible,” “ask somebody else to do it,” or, gasp, “do it yourself.” Sure, you may be swamped beyond belief with TPS reports, but if a higher-up comes to you for something, your first impulse should be to say “of course” (sigh and roll your eyes after the boss has left the room).
4. I heard through the grapevine that you have a Match.com profile up … care to meet my recently divorced neighbor?
Unless your name is Patty Stanger, don’t attempt to meddle in your supervisor’s romantic life (or lack thereof). Matchmaking amongst co-workers is a mostly acceptable practice, but don’t get your boss involved unless he or she specifically requests that you help hook ‘em up.
5. OMG, I’m so bored!
Just as you shouldn’t tell your boss to stop putting things on your desk or your head will positively explode, you shouldn’t complain to him or her about being bored or that your job is too easy (there’s a reason Angry Birds was invented, you know). If you’re truly feeling listless and unstimulated beyond belief, be proactive and ask for additional work or volunteer to chip in with something that needs attention.
6. Happy hour lasted until 2 a.m. for me last night. Can I take off early?
Unless he or she was with you partying it up last night, your boss is likely to have little sympathy for your extracurricular activities, especially when it involves drinking. Don’t bother complaining about being hung over to them. Keep a large bottle of Advil at your desk, drink plenty of water and learn from your mistakes. It’s not their problem.
7. I watched “9 to 5″ and “Horrible Bosses” back-to-back this weekend. Care to meet me in a deserted parking garage after work?
Expressing your displeasure with a tyrannical or incompetent boss by telling him or her you’ve been loading up your Netflix queue with workplace revenge fantasies isn’t exactly a step in the right direction. If your boss is indeed displaying verbally abusive and unpredictable behavior that’s interfering with your performance, stand up for yourself, document what’s been going on and consider setting up a meeting with human resources to discuss your grievances (no water cooler gossip).
8. Really? Is this the best the company could do?
It doesn’t matter if you’re referring to new office chairs, the communal fridge or the location of a company retreat or holiday party. Don’t go on a whiny tirade to your supervisor about petty things regarding company spending that don’t sit well with you. Not every company lavishes its employees with Herman Miller and Morton’s, and no one likes a person with a bloated sense of entitlement, especially bosses.
Read this article in YouBeauty
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